PowerCapes Will Make You Superhumanly Intoxicated

on October 17, 2011 2:00 PM

When the good folks at PowerCapes sent me one of their high-quality novelty superhero capes for review a month or so ago, I was conflicted. Sure, it’s a cape; I could only imagine all the activities that’d be instantly awesomized by the addition of a piece of superhero paraphernalia.

On the other hand, how the hell am I supposed to review something that amounts to nothing more than an oversized swatch of red fabric with a piece of Velcro affixed to two corners for easy attachification? What can I say to make such a goofy product appeal to adults/manchildren? It’s not even related to video games as well, making it a doubly dubious product for review.

…and then I decided to take it out on the town, on my birthday, no less. The result? Well, let’s just say I’m still not quite sure I remember all of what happened that night, and that’s all thanks to the cape.

PowerCapes Will Make You Superhumanly Intoxicated

The backstory: Deflated and utterly confused, I decided to bring the cape out to outings with my friends. Hey, we’re all a bunch of immature, Internet-savvy twenty-somethings that still laugh at really good (aka LOUD) fart jokes; they seem like they’d enjoy some random jerk in a cloak.

I brought it out to a couple events, like our weekly Taco Tuesday outing, and it got some good laughs from both us and the public. As seen above, my friend Katie in particular absolutely adored it, but she’s pretty much a ten year old boy, so it’s no surprise. The appeal of the PowerCape was strong, but it didn’t have the great reception that I’d hoped. It’s a PowerCape, not an AmusingCape; there had to be a way to maximize its awesomeness potential.

PowerCapes Will Make You Superhumanly Intoxicated

Luckily, a few days later was my 26th day of birth, so we decided to celebrate at Hamilton’s, perhaps my favorite beer bar in all of San Diego. And of course, the cape made its way there as well; it was my birthday, after all, and my friends demanded I differentiate myself from the pack.

The love flowed sudden and strong the moment I hit the door. Hamilton’s is always a friendly place, with dozens of cordial drunks with impeccable tastes in craft beer, but that night I was getting even more recognition and adoration from strangers, all thanks to the cape. Random patrons would ask me why I was wearing it and where I got it, and some even wondered where they could get one themselves. One nice man even bought a pint for me, even though I hadn’t told him it was my birthday.

PowerCapes Will Make You Superhumanly Intoxicated

I would recollect the entire night, but I unfortunately don’t remember much of it, on account of the fact that friends and other regulars were giving me equal parts awesome compliments and free pints. I can only rely on my hundreds of pictures taken there to jog my memory; the shaky, drunkenly taken pictures peppered throughout this article are only a taste of my hazy night.

I was in absolutely no condition to drive (DRINK RESPONSIBLY, AMIGOS), so I spent the night at a buddy’s place in walking distance. Overall, that was one of the awesomest nights of my adult life, and one of my best birthdays in recent non-memory. While most of you will dismiss this post and think it was just a badly-disguised attempt to brag about my amazing life, well, it was, but it does highlight the universal appeal of PowerCapes.

PowerCapes Will Make You Superhumanly Intoxicated

Most people would save their outfits for holidays like Halloween, but that crazy night showed that there’s no limit to the positive attention you’ll receive wearing a cape in public at random. When people asked me about it, I didn’t tell them it was my birthday; I told them I was wearing it because I just felt like it, and they surprisingly received it very well. The all ages appeal of PowerCapes is absolutely undeniable, and it would do you well to experience that yourself.

My final verdict? I think this picture says it all.

PowerCapes Will Make You Superhumanly Intoxicated

You can purchase your very own custom PowerCape right here.

 /  Staff Writer (Weekends)
Allen is an utter whore of a gamer; he's completely open-minded to all games, be they AAA blockbusters or $5 casual children's games. His focus is on indie games specifically, valuing gameplay and ingenuity over sparkly visuals and ridiculous gimmicks. When he's not geeking out over the newest art game, he's out toning his sexy, sculpted shoulders while surfing epic 1.5ft waves, or having a good time with local, high-gravity microbrews.