The Top 10 Qualities to Look For in a “Gamerchick”

on October 19, 2009 9:00 AM

We all know statistically men play more video games than women, but what we don’t know is that there is a considerable amount of women who play as well. Women who play video games, already that sounds hot, but there has to be some degree as to what makes a chick who loves gaming, a ‘Gamerchick’, to be your own Gamerchick. I, who had nothing to do this Saturday morning thought long and hard, and this is my top ten list on the qualities of a Gamerchick. Read well gentlemen.

10) She can play video games: Of course this has to be at the bottom of the list. We can’t move up the list if we know that she doesn’t play games or hates the word even. That eliminates many choices for us. Moving on.

9)Enjoys games you enjoy playing: Which would you rather have, two people in a relationship who play two totally different types of games, each person hating the other games they play, therefore, fights and arguments occur. Or, would you rather have a girl who loves or at least tolerates the games you enjoy playing. Saves the trauma, saves the arguments, and increases the playing time. How great is that?

8)Willing to try new games: Many games come out every year, and some of them co-exist with the new technology following those years. Adapting is key here, where new games and platforms are created, and if she can not be with the changes, then she is out like garbage filled with spoiled milk. It is okay if she still loves the oldies, like Nintendo and SEGA Genesis, but if you were to get a new platform, like an XBOX 720 (Which is a stupid name and a stupid idea for whoever thought of it first), you would be devoted to that system. It would be better if she would at least attempt to do the same.

7)Can start video game topics with you: It’s a rarity, especially when she starts talking about video games out of the blue. “Brendan, did you notice that Disgaea came out for the DS?” When she said that to me I was said ‘holy shit’ to myself. Even if I knew that it was, she attempted to talk video games with me. If you ever notice that she starts a conversation to you about anything game related, that is a big plus.

6)She’s calm when she loses a game: You’re watching her play online, and she lost a game that she was good at to someone else. Your thoughts start to forecast what will be the end result of her reaction, either she will blow up, or hold all the pain inside, and therefore, a tumor will lie in wait for years to come. But instead, she is a good sport and congratulates the other player for a good game. Even the men amongst us, most of us would have killed something that was living right near us or would have bad mouthed the other player. If she doesn’t have to do that then she is a saint.

5)She is not calm when she loses a game: Instead of being a saint, she whips at the devil bitch inside her after she loses the game, and everything you wanted in a hardcore Gamerchick is unleashed upon the world, as she smites her foe with deadly accuracy full of words, as it pierces them through the brain, leaving them dead on the floor bathing in their own blood (Too much?). As you watch this, don’t you get a little turned on?

4)She buys you games just so she can play or watch you play: One day she comes home bearing a gift for you, and you open it up to reveal a game that you have been wanting to get even since it came out. She enjoys watching you smile as you run to the system and put it in to play. She comes along, sits besides you, and rests her head on your shoulder as you play the game (How cute). The other thing that could happen in this situation is that she takes the game from your hands and she insists on playing it first, which to me is fine, maybe not to you guys.

3)Can stand up for herself, online and offline: It’s a man’s responsibility to protect his woman if she was being threatened or hurt in any way. But for a Gamerchick, if any threat came her way, if anyone dissed her online, she would snap at them like Rice Krispies as she tells them what’s what. Fending off her enemies with her graceful words, boggling them with no retort as she becomes the victor. Saves you a lot of time, right?

2)Giving her anything game related will make her happy: When her birthday, holidays, and anniversaries roll around, men have to find illustrious gifts for them, whether it be flowers, tickets to a play, and some fine jewelery. “Here Julie, I got you a gift card to Gamestop”. That’s all you need. She’ll love you for it, because either she was saving up to buy a game or an accessory, and now she has the ability to get whatever she wants. Of course you could have bought her what she wanted directly from the game store, but when in doubt, go for the card.

And my number one quality for a Gamerchick:

1)Playing video games will turn her on: Need I say more, no, but I’ll do it anyway. Watching you play video games, losing a match, winning a match, buying her a game related gift, are all probable causes that will lead the Gamerchick and yourself off to bed, or on the couch, whatever. Everyone else it is the regular “you look good today with those skanky clothes, so let’s have sex”. Game related material will do it for the both of you.

It is a dream of a gamer to have a Gamerchick with those qualities. Is it impossible to find one out there for you. Maybe, but one can’t hurt to look.

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