5 Games to Play Before Raiding Area 51
If you too want to see them aliens, here are a few games you should play to prepare for the storming of Area 51.
Today is the day we have been waiting for, folks. The day that we’re storming Area 51. It’s time to free the aliens from their cages and live in harmony with our friends from space.
Before we finally charge the base though later today, it’s important to prepare properly. As such, what better way to prepare than by playing some video games? Video games can teach us a lot of important life skills such as how to cook, how to care for dogs, or even how to saw a person in half with a chainsaw gun.
So before we raid Area 51 later today, here are five games you should check out to adequately prepare yourself to save the alien race.
If we’re going to raid Area 51, we have to know more about how the base is laid out. While I’m not sure if this mediocre 2005 shooter from Midway that is flat out called Area 51 will portray the infamous Air Force base as it actually is in real life, you should probably play it just to be safe. Rather than shooting the aliens though like this game grotesquely portrays, we’ll be charging against those who have the extraterrestrials locked up.
Play Area 51 to get an idea of how the base functions, less to align yourself with those who hate aliens and want to see them perish.
Metal Gear Solid
Perhaps no other game in history has taught us more about sneaking into highly protected places than Konami’s 1998 classic Metal Gear Solid. While our plan of attack on Area 51 mainly has us storming the base directly, there will be a second unit that tries to sneak into the back of the facility. If you’re part of this group, then it’s vital that you revisit Metal Gear Solid beforehand to pick up some stealth moves from the legendary Solid Snake.
Yes, that means you’ll also need to have a cardboard box handy as well if you’re part of the sneaking team. Metal Gear Solid creator Hideo Kojima didn’t just incorporate cardboard boxes into the game as some sort of joke; he knew that they were the best item around to utilize in a stealth situation. In fact, I’ve heard rumors that Kojima himself will even be present at the Area 51 raid today. Be sure to bring a cardboard box with you and follow Kojima’s lead if you see him.
Destroy All Humans
Destroy All Humans has a simple premise: destroy all humans who want to suppress aliens. It’s the perfect kind of game to revisit before storming Area 51 and serves as a reminder of why we’re doing this in the first place. While I don’t think we’ll be equipped with anal probe weaponry during this raid like our friend Crypto has in Destroy All Humans, the game still has plenty of lessons on how to combat against those who are anti-alien.
There’s also a remake of Destroy All Humans slated to release next year, assuming the government doesn’t try to prevent it from coming out.
There are a lot of Naruto games out there so I’m not even going to suggest that you play a specific one. All you need to glean from these games is the running style of Naruto and friends. When we make our charge towards Area 51 today, you’ll have to run in this manner, so play a game that appropriately teaches you the sprinting form. Head forward, arms back.
Ubisoft specifically recommends Naruto: The Broken Bond which released back in 2008 on the Xbox 360. If you can find a copy of that game, spend some time with it before we begin our attack.
— Ubisoft (@Ubisoft) September 20, 2019
E.T. for Atari
E.T. for Atari has often been blamed for the video game crash of the 80s, but have you actually ever played it? No one that I’ve ever met or talked to has even played E.T. so how can we even know if it’s bad? What I’m saying here is that the government tried to hide from us the fact that E.T. wasn’t actually a terrible game at all. They just didn’t want us to sympathize with one of history’s most famous aliens.
That’s then why they buried all of those copies of E.T. in the desert. They didn’t want the truth to get out; the truth that E.T. is actually one of the greatest games ever created. Everything you know about E.T. for Atari has been a huge lie. Find a copy of the game for yourself ahead of the Area 51 raid and you’ll see what I mean.