Bayonetta, Meet Playboy

By Yaris Gutierrez

December 15, 2009

No, no people. It isn’t what you think it is. You’re not going to see Bayonetta flaunt her sexy facade in next month’s Playboy magazine, you pervs you. However, Playboy and Sega are teaming up for some really blue-balls inducing scenarios which will attract many men.

Both Sega and Playboy are sending a couple of Bayonetta fans to Playboy Chicago in order to celebrate New Year’s Eve with a mob of Playmates. The winners of the contest will have the option (yes, for some reason “options” are being made available to your disposal in this overwhelming female-majority event) to either party, get drunk with the microscopic chance of getting laid, or play a ton of Bayonetta all. Night. Long.  For some sick fucks, playing Bayonetta alone will satisfy their manly urges, however saddening this may sound.

I wouldn’t be surprised to actually hear about a handful of winners playing Bayonetta rather than partying with gorgeous women. To some, Bayonetta is as hot as a woman will get; she’s gothic, she’s hot, she wears glasses (which giver her that library chick look), she kicks ass, and she probably does anal. Rather than getting teased by Playmates throughout the whole night, I’m pretty sure some dudes would prefer to spend some “alone” time with the statuesque Bayonetta, and buff their bananas.

For those of you interested in signing up, you can head over to Sega’s page here and get your signing up on. And just an FYI, you have until the 18th of this month, which is this Friday. Jesus… I can already hear the grunting sounds and heavy breathing of forty-year-old virgin gamers… and I bet they’re dipping handfuls of waffles into a bucket of syrup while reading this. Ugh!

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Yaris Gutierrez

Born and raised in New York City, Yaris is one of three co-founders at DualShockers. Gaming since the inception of Nintendo in the 80's, he has grown to avidly appreciate games of every genre, maturing his preference specifically now to third-person action games, first-person shooters and JRPGs. He's a software engineer, father and husband during the day, and mildly attempts to hold onto his "hardcore gamer" title during the evenings. An attempt that he tends to fail miserably at.

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