Dissecting a Press Release: Tony Hawk Pro Skater HD

July 31, 2012

Dissecting a Press Release will be an inside look at video game industry press releases. We will take press releases from around the industry and dissect the PR hyperbole and shenanigans. Translations will be in parenthesis and bolded. Read on.

“A bouillabaisse of THPS HD news, assets, and confirmations today, so focus your attention!”

(We tried to cram in as much crap as possible to resell this game)

“Activision has confirmed today that Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater HD will come out on PC later this summer. While the Xbox Live Arcade version comes out on July 18 as part of Microsoft’s Summer of Arcade, the PSN and PC versions will hit a few weeks after – exact release dates to be announced soon. Please drop me a note if you would like an XBLA review code.”


(PSN and PC didn’t pay to get this faster, suckers!)

“The single-player campaign in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater HD will feature a combination of all-new game modes alongside some of the classics. Fans of Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground will be pleased to see that Hawkman has made a return: a game mode where players fly around levels collecting a series of colored pellets before time runs out (think Pac-Man on skateboards). A brand-new mode to the series is Big Head Survival, where players have a head that’s constantly growing and the only way to stop the swelling is to perform tricks before it gets too big and explodes. Throw in Free Skate and a never before seen list of PROjectives, new, harder objectives unlocked upon completing the game’s original objectives, and there’s plenty to keep gamers coming back for more.”

(Did anyone else read “stop the swelling” and chuckle or was that just me? Also WTF is a PROjective? Let’s make up words to sound cool and make a new mode.)

“Beyond career mode, online play offers its own assortment of specific game modes. Trick Attack is the classic, two minute battle where the player with the highest score as time runs out reigns victorious. Old favorite Graffiti mode also returns and gives players two minutes to “tag” as many objects as they can by performing tricks on them. Making its online debut is Big Head Elimination, a hilarious game mode where players will have to perform tricks to shrink their ever-growing heads and keep their noggins intact longer than their opponents. Free Skate is another online mode and allows players to skate around openly and practice tricks without any goals or time restraints.”

(The fact that you have to label a mode “hilarious” probably means it isn’t even remotely funny.)

“Also, to clear up some speculation: You can do manuals as part of trick combos in THPS HD. Given the fact that this game combines the best gameplay from THPS1 and THPS2, reverts will not work as part of trick combos in the initial launch of THPS HD as that mechanic was not introduced until THPS3. However, reverts will work in the post-release DLC for the THPS3 levels, as those levels were originally designed to accommodate this.”

(If you get the DLC this game may not suck as much, and you will be able to do stuff that you were supposed to from the beginning.)

“Two new slow-motion videos of the game have been released, one of street legend and THPS veteran Eric Koston getting burly on the helicopter in the Hangar, and the other a Downhill session with new school dominator Chris Cole. These videos were produced to show the technical nature of what goes into linking a few epic tricks in THPS HD.  The HD sure makes slow motion tricks look pretty.”

(We made videos to show you how pretty we made this game. Did we mention the game is pretty now?)

“Last but not least, THPS HD will be playable on the Birdhouse Left Coast tour, starting this weekend in Santa Clarita, CA and heading up the west coast for two weeks. Tony Hawk and his team will be doing skateboard demos, full list of dates can be found here: http://birdhouseskateboards.com. If you live nearby one of the stops (hello, San Jose) and want to chat with Tony about THPS HD and life in general, drop us a note.”

(We need to fly in Tony Hawk to promote this title as much as possible in order to make this successful. Please come watch him do tricks and pre-order a game.)

Al Zamora

Al has been gaming as long as he can remember and will continue to game until his fingers break off or video games cease to exist. A New York native born and raised he crashed into the gaming journalism scene in 2006. Since then he has become the on air personality for DSTV and loves every second of cursing while interviewing developers about serious topics. Aside from being a gamer he also has a B.S. in Chemical Engineering that does not help in the gaming world but does provide for fun stories when people say "what?".Favorite games: Contra (NES), Mega Man II (NES) and Final Fantasy III (SNES)

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