Johnny Cash is probably one of the most depressing musicians I’ve heard (Coldplay doesn’t have crap on this guy). The man’s music permeates the still air as his bass-baritone voice haunts your fleshy chassis with the sounds of sorrow, redemption, and moral tribulation. Suicidal music aside, he is considered one of the most influential musicians of the 20th century; and for that reason, my bewildered readers, the Grammy Award winner will be introduced to a virtual audience this fall in Guitar Hero 5 as a playable character. Fans, and new players alike, will have the ability to sing and play along to songs like “Ring of Fire,” and even have the chance to unlock the ability to play the guitar and sing as the “Man in Black” himself, Mr. Johnny Cash. I’m not too sure how upbeat his songs will be (“Ring of Fire” might sound upbeat, but the lyrics are… umm.. yea), but please avoid having any firearms, alcoholic beverages, pain-killers and prostitutes around you (as his music might ignite some crazy thoughts). Not too much of Cash’s music is “happy” music, per se. It contrasts beating a puppy in the head with a cauldron – it’s just messed up.
Don’t think that you’ll just be whipping out an acoustic solo while singing “Ring of Fire,” though. Cash is just one of the new guys on the block of the growing list of playable in-game artists announced for Guitar Hero 5. Players will be rocking out with more than 80 of the biggest rock artitst and bands of all time, including The White Stripes, Elton John, The Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Vampire Weekend and 25 artists that will finally have their cherries popped as they make their music video game debut in Guitar Hero 5.
A new Party Play Mode is being introduced as well. Players will now be able to easily jump in and out of sessions without affecting the current gameplay. When can you expect to get your hands on some Guitar Hero 5 and rock with your vocals, drumming skills, guitar and bass strumming handiness? September, my fiendish rock star wannabes. September is when you can, again, pretend like you have the vocal skills of Layne Staley and the guitar skills of Keith Richards. Now, I’m going to go get me some shiny suits, numerous silver rings, some water-pressed tattoos from the Bazooka bubble gums, and a pick to strum my string-less guitar with. I’m going to be a rock star! Woot!