Making a Video Game Hero: Platformer Edition

Step back into our video game creation lab as we build the best platform hero ever by combining the genre's best in a Frankenstein creation.

Recently, we took a look at all of the video game heroes who make their living in hallowed halls of the action-adventure genre. After analyzing each of them (very scientifically, we might add) we put together an amalgamation of their body parts to build the greatest action-adventure hero. Like a modern-day Dr. Frankenstein, we built the ultimate hero for that genre, and now we’re back again with a new, fan-favorite genre. That’s right, it’s time to build a Mario.

Now, like action-adventure games, platformers have a ton of different sub-genres within their sphere. Not only do you have 2D and 3D platformers, but there are also games that mix shooting, mind powers, and even naughty swear words. That said, we’re looking to build a hero that can work their way through whatever situation developers can throw at them. So, give our beautiful monster a look below and let us know if you’d make any changes in the comments below.

Brain: Alucard (Castlevania: Symphony of the Night)
Runners’ Up: Razputin Aquato (Psychonauts) and Clank (Ratchet & Clank series)

To kick off the list, we have a trifecta of great options. On one hand, you have Raz from Psychonauts, a young boy with considerable psychic powers. Not only has he mastered many PSI skills while training to be a Psychonaut, but he also boasts nearly impenetrable psychic defenses. On the other hand, Clank is a robot with access to a gigantic database of information that he can call up in the blink of an eye.

However, on the third (?) hand, we have Alucard, the dhampir son of Dracula. Now, as a half-vampire, he lacks the immortality of his father’s species; however, he still has all the other powers. With his brain, we get access to a library of powerful magic and, presumably, the ability to shape-shift into a bat, wolf, or mist. So, while he might be a little less of a smartie than Clank, we’ll take the wolf morph every day.

Eyes: Six (Little Nightmares)
Runners’ Up: Crash Bandicoot and Fez

Again, the platformer genre gives us a plethora of options for our monster’s eyeballs. We’re tempted to go with Crash and his gigantic, terrifying, lifeless eyes, but frankly, even we’re too scared by the thought of what those eyes have seen. Why are they always so wide open? What makes them spin? These are the questions that keep us up at night.

Instead, we’re going with someone a bit smaller. Fez was strongly considered due to his ability to see the world in multiple dimensions at once; however, we decided to go with someone who’s faced down horrible, sausage-wielding “chefs” and lived to tell the tale. Six from Little Nightmares might not be the strongest platforming character, but we can trust her to stay brave, regardless of what terrifying monster we find ourselves up against.

Mouth: Kirby
Runners’ Up: Conker (Conker’s Bad Fur Day) and Earthworm Jim

Honestly, this might be the easiest choice on the list. A potty-mouthed squirrel and an earthworm full of bad puns are hardly a match for the power-stealing jaws of Kirby. I mean, sure, our hero can already morph into a wolf, but what if they could also morph into Bowser? Or Dr. Neo Cortex? Or even Professor von Kriplespac? The possibilities are truly endless, and it’s nearly impossible to imagine any other character’s mouth in Kirby’s place.

Torso: Meat Boy (Super Meat Boy)
Runners’ Up: Banjo (Banjo-Kazooie) and Tim (Braid)

Here, things get interesting again. If we take Banjo’s body, do we also get Kazooie? If so, that means we can fly, but since we already have multiple morphing powers, that’s not really needed. Tim’s squat body might let us control the flow of time, which is going to come in handy when braving spikey pits.

That being said, we’re going with Meat Boy. After all, there aren’t many heroes who can say they’ve withstood more punishment than that slab of beef. And he just keeps coming back for more. That’s a trait our monster needs.

Left Arm: Mega Man
Runners’ Up: Yarny (Unravel) and Rad Spencer (Bionic Commando)

The first thing we have to ask ourselves is “would we marry our robotic arm if we found out it was our previously thought-to-be-dead wife?” And, obviously, the answer is yes. However, if our creation is married to their arm, then they’ll live a life torn between us, their creator, and their arm-wife. That doesn’t work for us, so Rad Spencer is, unfortunately, out.

Yarny presents another interesting option; however, their power feels limited. There’s only so much you can do with yarn. Mega Man, on the other hand, has a smorgasbord of power-ups for our monster to take advantage of, making him the easy choice.

Right Arm: Donkey Kong
Runners’ Up: Cuphead and Voodoo Vince

Cuphead’s arm would definitely be a fun addition, but that feels like a bit of overkill. Voodoo Vince combos well with Meat Boy’s body. Stabbing that slab of beef and inflicting damage on our enemies seems like an easy win. However, our platformer build is missing something. We need…power.

Enter Donkey Kong’s right arm. Did you know that gorillas can lift an estimated 1800 lbs? Imagine what that kind of strength could do to a man or Goomba. We’re talking complete and total destruction. Our monster needs that.

Legs: Madeline (Celeste)
Runners’ Up: Sonic the Hedgehog, Sly Cooper, and Arthur (Ghosts ‘n Goblins)

Again, tons of great options. If you’re looking for pure, video game speed, Sonic is the obvious choice. Maybe you want world-class agility that would let you sneak your way into any heavily-guarded fortress. In that case, Sly Cooper is your guy. Heck, maybe you just want to look good in your undies, making Arthur the man for you.

For our creature, we’re taking Madeline’s legs. If you play Celeste on Assist Mode, you can turn on infinite stamina. That means Madeline can jump forever. And, even if we don’t turn on Assist Mode, her legs are some of the best leapers in the business. Her air control is top-tier, a fact our beast will take full advantage of.

Hat: Mario
Runners’ Up: The Boy (Inside) and Shovel Knight

(Note: Spoilers for Inside below)

Okay, our last category continues to be something of a catch-all. At first, we thought we’d just slap The Boy from Inside’s ability to turn into a massive flesh blob in here, because what an awesome sequence. If our monster can just transform into that whenever they want, why wouldn’t we want that? However, it feels wrong to not have Mario involved in our video game creation in some way. So, we’ve decided to continue enhancing our beast’s ability to morph into other creatures by adding Mario’s hat. Oh, and Shovel Knight is cool, but only cool enough to make the list and not overtake Mario.

At this point, our platformer hero has basically become the newest Animorph, with the power to morph into whatever animal or object needed to get past any obstacle. Bowsers everywhere are surely crying into their pillow, as they dream sweet nightmares about our creation.

Thus ends our latest creation. Be sure to check back in the near future as we tackle the next video game genre. And stick with DualShockers for all your weird, imaginary video game science experiments.

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Ricky Frech

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