New Fire Simulation “Game” on the Wii

on December 2, 2011 11:45 AM

Good morning folks, and it’s time for another edition of Emily’s rants about things that are better in real life! A month ago it was Cooking Mama, and now it’s virtual looping fireplaces.

A German company released today a new program (I refuse to call it a game) on the WiiWare network called ‘Cozy Fire’. You get to build up a fire using the collection of logs you are given, light a match, and then you get the flickering orangey glow and crackling sound of a fake fire. The best part is? Depending on the mode you choose, you may not have to do anything else. ‘Butler mode’ keeps adding logs for you, and ‘non-stop mode’ has logs that never burn down. For those really looking for a challenge, ‘individual’ mode requires you to keep adding logs.

You can even choose from six different styles of fireplaces to better match your decor. And this is all available for the low, low price of 500 Wii Points.

I am sorry, but what is the point of this? Maybe I’m biased. I absolutely adore real fires. My family home is kept freezing in the winter to save on heating oil (I am usually found in a sweatshirt or seven from October to April). Fires are my saving grace, and we have them almost every night. My favorite place to sit is on the hearth, so close to the fire I have to be careful about sparks setting my shirt on fire. Plus, as my father is a firewood-finding fiend, a large portion of my summer months are spent splitting and hauling firewood.

The heat and the smell of a fireplace are the best parts. If you don’t have a fireplace, that’s one thing. But seriously: if you want popping and cracking, go make popcorn. Flickering float your boat? Light a candle. Don’t pay $5 and waste electricity for a pretty moving picture of one. Please.

 /  Staff Writer
Originally hailing from the magical land of Delaware, Emily took a knowledge-based pilgrimage to NYC and will never go back. Known as "buttmage" to her friends, she is a cosplayer with a penchant for sarcastic females and girly men. Lives unapologetically. Loves Final Fantasy, Legend of Zelda, Prince of Persia. and anything with a good story.