One Minute (and Fifty-Seven Seconds) Long Micro-Review: KARATE

By Allen Park

April 14, 2011

Indie devs Vlambeer might be best known for last year’s smash hit Super Crate Box, and they’re back again with their latest game, a serious karate sim simply titled KARATE. An apparent product of boredom, KARATE was constructed in just one hour (and fifty-seven minutes), and Vlambeer assures us that they had not done ANY research into their subject matter beforehand.

In the game, you’re one “karateka” against a bajillion, with the objective being to uppercut the enemies as some sort of offering to whatever deity you may or may not worship. Does the game give a firm roundhouse kick to fun’s crotchal region, or is it nothing but a droll bland girly slap to my face? Read on!

YOU PUNCH AND KICK PIXELMEN INTO THE HEAVENS AND GET POINTS FOR IT. FOR FREE.

Verdict: 1000 Eye of the Tigers/10 (Get on it like my fist on yo face!)

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Allen Park

Allen is an utter whore of a gamer; he's completely open-minded to all games, be they AAA blockbusters or $5 casual children's games. His focus is on indie games specifically, valuing gameplay and ingenuity over sparkly visuals and ridiculous gimmicks. When he's not geeking out over the newest art game, he's out toning his sexy, sculpted shoulders while surfing epic 1.5ft waves, or having a good time with local, high-gravity microbrews.

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