Do you believe in horoscopes? Some do and some don’t, but they’re always fun to read. Analysts and journalists are scrambling to find every bit of (realistic and not so realistic) information to describe the PS4 and the Xbox One and predict their performance in the coming year, so why not the horoscope? It really can’t be too much worse than your average prediction piece.
The PS4 was released on November the 15th, making it a Scorpio, while the Xbox One will hit the shelves tomorrow, on November the 22nd, which, interestingly enough, is the first day of Sagittarius.
Below you can find the descriptions of both signs (courtesy of Horoscope.com). You’ll be surprised to see in which uncanny way they actually fit both consoles.
Beneath a controlled, cool exterior beats the heart of the deeply intense Scorpio. Passionate, penetrating, and determined, this sign will probe until they reach the truth. The Scorpio may not speak volumes or show emotions readily, yet rest assured there’s an enormous amount of activity happening beneath the surface. Excellent leaders, Scorpions are always aware. When it comes to resourcefulness, this sign comes out ahead.
Xbox One: Sagittarius
Inquisitive and energetic, the Sagittarius is the traveler of the Zodiac. Their philosophical, broad-minded approach to life motivates them to wander far and wide in the search for the meaning of life. Extroverted, optimistic, and enthusiastic, it can be almost impossible to keep the Sagittarius down. They love change. In fact, change is essential for this sign to feel their best.
So what about 2014? What challenges and victories await both consoles in the coming year?
Personal and Social Life: The Universe has plotted a way for you to reveal more of your inner self to your friends and family, but you’ll be getting something in return! From February 10 through February 12, the Moon in Cancer will be trine Saturn in Scorpio, meaning that difficulties within the home will be ironed out through the use of your own personal wisdom.
The level of familiarity you might have with friends, acquaintances, and neighbors might be equally unnerving and exhilarating. But don’t worry! You’ll be getting something out of it as well.
And with the Sun conjoining the Moon in Cancer, you’ll be able to retreat with no guilt when the outside world gets to be too much.
The important thing to remember is every bit of information you receive this year will helpful to you. Mostly this will involve how to handle or talk to difficult people, which will be worth a lot to you, both in your daily life and your career. Keep your eyes and ears open!
Career and Money: With Capricorn being a heavy influence at the beginning of the year, capturing the Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Pluto, your year may get off to a work-heavy start! Before too long, however, you should settle into a routine while subtly planting the seeds for positive change within your work life.
Even if you’re searching for work, your methods and ideas are apt to gain quite a bit of attention by your prospective employers. This year starts off with possibilities that almost leap into your lap, yet your success depends on how well you think on your feet once the offers are made!
If you play your cards right, you should be able to weather a quiet period of inertia broken by occasional storms. A Water Trine on March 11 gives you an additional boost in financial and career strength, but even with this, what you get out of it will depend on what you put into it. Give as much as you receive and you’re apt to receive one and a half times as much as what you put in!
Xbox One: Sagittarius
Personal and Social Life: You’re hitting the ground running this year, considering Mars is in Libra and Uranus is in Aries, balancing out the staid effects of Capricorn. With the Moon entering Aries almost immediately (on January 6) you’re finding that chores aren’t back-breaking work but interesting puzzles that you’re bending over backward to solve.
Some of your more personal goals may take a while to achieve, but the path to solving them is strewn with solutions to questions you’d lost hope in answering.
Your personal energy level may slide a little in periods here and there in the summer, but you’ve got enough going so that friends can carry you during those low points.
The good news is that you actually gain a burst of energy with the advent of fall. Jupiter will also be in Leo from July 16 onward, giving your stamina a boost.
It all comes to a pleasant crux on December 1 with a Grand Fire Trine involving the Sun, Moon, and Mercury granting you a calm sense of reason to process all the information you’ve received all through the year. If you had a grand question to ask, you’ll have your grand answer before the year is up.
Career and Money: The ability to take in and truly process information will serve you well at the beginning of the year. Right off the bat, on January 1, Capricorn’s heavy influence on your chart will give you a strong tailwind when it comes to sailing the ship of business.
If you have strong ideas, Venus in Capricorn will assist you in bringing them to fruition. Though there may be some resistance, you can still win people over if you make the case steadily and enthusiastically.
In late summer the planets deliver some interestingly cryptic yet positive messages. With the Moon in your sign on August 6, aided and abetted by the Sun, Jupiter, and Mercury in Leo, you could be given the keys to a door or two that lead to added prosperity. Even if you get some questionable signals and aren’t sure of all the details, you can still take time to sort it out.
Your money isn’t going anywhere unless you tell it to, and if there’s a catch, you’ll find it. In general, while the year requires quick thinking in many matters, the Lion’s influence on you is magnanimous and allows for some breathing room to make the right decisions on your own time. Just remember that outcomes aren’t always too good to be true. Sometimes they can be both!
So there you have it: will the predictions prove accurate? How can they interpreted? We have no way to know for now.
Don’t take this piece too seriously, as it was written mostly in jest, but you have to admit that the descriptions of each corresponding sign fit so perfectly that it almost feels that Sony and Microsoft selected their release dates on purpose to match them.