PSP2 at E3? I Don't Think So...

By Rob Bateman

May 13, 2010

Repeat after me – this is not real.

I am a PSP owner and it is my honest opinion that it is the greatest handheld gaming device ever created. Sure its not shifted as many units as the Nintendo DS but then again it isn’t marketed at geriatrics, under 5 year olds, and the mentally handicapped which is where Nintendo seem to find their core audience these days. The PSP is the portable console of choice for hardcore gamers and the only thing that would change my opinion on that is the announcement of the PSP 2 at this years E3.

…except there is no PSP2

PSP2 is not even a rumour – its some kind of fairytale wishful thinking that has managed to cross the boundary from fantasy into reality, like a handheld Freddy Krueger invading the dreams of gamers the world over. So how the hell did this “rumour” get perpetuated? In every conversation or forum topic I read about the PSP some idiot will inevitably squeeze in “buh buh buh Sony are about to announce the PSP2 at E3!” So where is the proof? There is none, nish, nada, absolutely sweet FA.

In this day and age it is nigh on IMPOSSIBLE to develop new hardware in top secret anywhere outside of Area 51 so if there was a PSP2 then there would be some inkling of it by now via patent applications, leaked documents from hardware manufacturers sites, or simply by leaving a prototype unit in a bar after a night on the sauce (yeah I’m looking at you Apple you morons). Furthermore the PSP itself currently has one of the greatest software lineups the console has ever seen – MGS: Peace Walker, Valkyria Chronicles 2, God Of War: Ghost Of Sparta. These are major AAA titles and show that Sony is focusing some serious resources into the PSP. To announce a new PSP2 console at E3, mere weeks after the release of MGS: PW, possibly the biggest title the handheld has ever seen, would be insanely stupid. These games are supposed to shift systems but who is going to buy tech that is about to be replaced?

Was the PSP2 developed here in top secret? No, so STFU.

Then of course there is the question of the tech itself. People keep mentioning that the PSP is beginning to show its age and is becoming a bit long in the tooth but this is pure bullshit. Apple has Doodlejump on the iphone and the world thinks it’s a gaming revolution, the PSP has a fully fledged Metal Gear Solid sequel and people start saying its looking old – STFU! The PSP is in no way looking old, it was waaaaay ahead of its time when it was released years ago and since then it has had extra processing power unlocked via firmware updates to make it an even better system. Add on top of all this the fact that Sony has just had a PSP hardware revision (PSP GO) that is less than 1 year old and I think there is more chance of my finger tips turning into bell-ends than a PSP2 appearing at this years E3.

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Finally we have simple economics. It’s no secret that Sony has had some serious issues with its company profits since the launch of the PS3 which are only just beginning to break even. R&D for a new system costs SHEDLOADS, you can see this in the nigh on simultaneous launch of blu-ray and the PS3 which pretty much bum-raped the companies profit margins for years. I just cant see Sony green-lighting a PSP2 until they have managed to claw back some profits from its other major ventures, especially when the PSP is still selling strong. Also I believe that Sony will wait until they have seen what Nintendo is going to do with its 3DS; trying to rush in before the competition is never a good idea, wouldn’t you agree Mr RROD?

Just let me be clear, would I want a better PSP? Of course I would.

Would I want to purchase a brand new expensive handheld for slightly better graphics and a second analogue nub? No.

A PSP2 is inevitable but not this year – not a chance. When Sony brings out a new console then it is always leaps and bounds ahead of its predecessor (PS1 – PS2 – PS3) so anyone who thinks they are going to make a few tweaks, stick on a few extra controls and call it a PSP2 is a chump. Also there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that a PSP2 will be completely digital download only for its software. Both Sony and Nintendo have both been stung big time by software piracy on their handhelds and I think the PSP GO is a definite test of a purely DLC based gaming model, since the GO isn’t exactly taking the world by storm then this would indicate to Sony to hold off for another year or two. BTW, to those of you who hate the GO for its lack of physical media then its time to embrace the future, Apple’s doing it, Sony are doing it, and Nintendo….well like I said, they are marketing to geriatrics, under 5’s and the mentally handicapped.

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Rob Bateman

Rob is our resident UK based contributor. Currently splitting his gaming time between Starcraft 2, Battlefield Bad Company 2, and MGS:Peace Walker.

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