Sony Teaches Japanese Husbands How To Beg Their Wives for a PS4; Hilarity Ensues
After reading the headline of this post, I’m sure many you thought it was a joke. Well… It isn’t. Sony Computer Entertainment Japan and Asia just released on the Play Community Blog (the local equivalent of our PlayStation Blog) the first part of “Begging Diary – I really want a PS4.”
What is it? Basically it’s the hilarious story in diary form of a husband that really wants a PS4 and is trying to persuade his wife to buy it. Since it’s rather funny, we translated it for your perusal, allowing you to bask in the over-the-top light of Japanese marketing.
Without further ado, you can enjoy it below:
Shiro: It’s nice to meet all of you users from the “Play Community.” I’m Shiro from Futtsu in the Chiba prefecture, and I’m a 30 year-old company employee. I’m also in trouble.
If you’re wondering what kind of trouble…
I reaaaaaaally want a Playstation 4!!!!!
In other words, I really, insanely want it.
I dream of the PS4™ every night, I even wrote “I want a PS4™” on an Ema [Note: Ema are small wooden plaques that Shinto worshipers hang at shrines for the local god to read] at a shrine in my neighborhood. I don’t know whether or not the folks at Sony have noticed this, but I even went as far as writing the “TM” properly.
Lately I pretend to use the touch pad on the Playstation 3 controller, just above the PS button. I also imagine to broadcast gameplay by talking to my TV late at night, while nothing is displayed, I’m ok with just a bit of light.
However… I’m facing a big roadblock: it’s my wife! Mariko!!
Mariko is the one that manages our household… And I can’t just freely buy a PS4!
She’s indifferent to gaming, as she has not touched a game console in the past 10 years. She always does things like yoga, and loves those yummy diet drinks made with Açaí. I wonder if there’s really a way to make her relent and buy a PS4…
But I absolutely refuse to give up! I want a PS4! I even set up a lot of shapes on the floor in front of my TV, and I pretend to play with Playroom. I want her to notice.
So! Let’s buy it! I’m sure I’ll manage to buy it! I have already decided! I am going to persuade Mariko!
This time I am going to make use of the Play Community. Until I get the PS4, I will report to you about the ways in which I’ll try to convince Mariko. I was wondering if there were others in this same situation, and that idea feels a little conforting. In adition to that, I want to exchange information on the PS4 with everyone in the “Play Community,” so I can get good ideas from everyone in order to convince my wife. So thank you for lending me your attention for a while!
For this time, the plan is to ask, like in a casual conversation, whether Mariko knows about the PS4. Then I will give a basic description of the console. And after learning from the beginning her stance towards this negotiation, I will provide her with basic data on the PS4. It’s a good idea to plant information as a foundation of the achievement of my purpose.
How about that? Isn’t it quite strategic?
And here’s the most important part! To prevent the partner from telling it apart from casual conversation, I have to convey my feelings about PS4 little by little. So, please support me in today’s challenge!
~At the table, just after dinner~
Shiro: Oh Mariko (trying to feign a natural attitude), your cooking was delicious! Thank you for the meal!
Mariko: That’s rare. You hardly ever compliment me on my cooking. Do you want something? A PS4?
Shiro: (Gyaaaa!!! She figured me out in 0.5 seconds!)
Mariko: Really? Did I guess right after all?
Shiro: Oh… Yeah… I… You know… Mariko… PS4…
Mariko: I don’t know the details, but I saw a commercial on TV. And since you like games I thought you would want one. You don’t?
Shiro: No! I want it, I want it, I want it! Can we buy one?
Mariko: You know, at the end of last year we had to replace our broken washing machine. Not only that, but they also increased the rent this Spring. Right now keeping the household running is tough.
Shiro: D’oh! It’s all the landlord’s fault… But miss Mariko [note: the original is “Mariko-sama,” the most respectful way you could address someone, and it’s often used as a stereotypical form of begging in comedy], let’s do it somehow!
Mariko: But we already have a PlayStation 3.
Shiro: I do have a PS3, but the PS4 is much more marvelous!
Mariko: Really? How great is it?
Shiro: (N… Now! This is my chance!) Ahem! Well… Let me explain. The PS4 is a machine like no other, greater than them all! First of all, please look at this picture of the console. Tadaaa!
Mariko: Wow! It has a cool, sharp design.
Shiro: It is designed with straight lines and it has a futuristic design. It’s streamlined and all colored in black. And it’s just as good inside!
Mariko: Come to think of it, the first Playstation that I had when I was a child was gray.
Shiro: Well, as a special service, I will also show you pictures of the previous PlayStation consoles! Here!
Mariko: Heh, after all even the design of gaming consoles is going to change over time. From the original PlayStation to its fashionable new look.
Shiro: The design of the PlayStation, even while incorporating the ideas of previous designs, is always new and makes the brand stand out. The PS4 is the state-of-the-art, and while it is still new, the new console and its image have become popular across the world, and I am looking forward to it!
Mariko: I like how it looks, but what about the content?
Shiro: First, there is the expressive power of graphics! At that time, the PlayStation was a machine that had the power to show the best of its generation, but the power of the PS4 is overwhelming! It is very easy to understand if you take a look at the evolution through these previous PlayStation screenshots!
Mariko: That’s ICO! How nostalgic… It’s funny when you look at them side-by-side. The screenshots from the PS4 do look a little bit different…
Shiro: You can’t tell from the pictures, but the smoothness of the framerate is also a major point for the PS4. The PS4 brings forth a whole new gaming experience!
Mariko: You’re exaggerating… Even the PS3 was like that…
Shiro: No, no, no! It is very different!
Mariko: I wonder…
Shiro: Uh huh… Oh s… sorry… Well even if the PS3 had great games as well, PS4 is a next-generation machine, so they put a lot of features into it. For example, a video sharing function! You can click the “share” button on the controller, and share how you play by uploading the footage to a video hosting website.
Mariko: What is that? what do you mean?
Shiro: If you are proud of a great play you just did, or you want laugh with your friends about an interesting scene that just happened… It is also possible to suggest the strategy to others. You can share it with players all around the world instantly. It has unlimited potential.
Mariko: It certainly is new.
Shiro: Another topic is remote play with the PlayStation Vita.
Mariko: What is remote play?
Shiro: It’s a feature which allows you to play PS4 games on the screen of the PS Vita. I can play PS4 games without a TV thanks to this feature. I can even play outside as long as I have wireless access!
Mariko: Oh! That would be nice! Then that means that even if you start a game, but I want to see one of my dramas… You can continue to play on the balcony, right?
Shiro: W… well, whether I get kicked out on the balcony or not… Is it just me or I see that you think it’s fun?
Mariko: Well, maybe it could really be fun. It is different from the game consoles we owned before.
Shiro: Whew… That’s good… But are you convinced to buying it?
Mariko: That’s a completely different story. We’re tight with money for the household. Especially this month.
Shiro: This month? Why?
Mariko: Oh, I didn’t tell you? I dropped the watch in the toilet, and now we have to buy a replacement. Tehe!
That’s it folks.
How was that? Those were the last words that Mariko spoke about the PS4. I ended up defeated on my knees. Honestly, I feel that I didn’t win. But I have decided not to give up!
To everyone that is still reading this blog post to the very end, thank you. When you post a message in the comment section of this article, please give encouragement.
Give me your opinions and impressions about the PS4, your memories of PlayStation, and let me hear the cries of all the people that want a PS4 just as much as I do… It doesn’t really matter what you post. Please by all means, go ahead and comment.
Then please tweet this if you don’t mind. It’s a lonely battle made of sweat and tears. So my friends, no matter how though it is, I will stand up again and again. [note: below you can see Mariko’s persuasion meter]
And that’s it. At Sony Japan they’ve officially gone crazy.
Jokes aside, considering how households in Japan are traditionally run, the situation isn’t that unrealistic. As a matter of fact, it’s pretty much a given that there are indeed quite a few local husbands (and who knows, probably even some wives) in Shiro-san’s situation. I wonder if some will actually take inspiration from this… I guess there are worse topics for after-dinner conversation out there.
[Translation: Griffin Tatum]