Target Offering $99 "Video Game Setup" Service

January 8, 2010

There is a high volume of idiocy and laziness running rampant in this country. I don’t know how many individuals were conceived by people with the same parents, but it seriously shows that companies are taking advantage of this perpetuating retardation plaguing shoppers.

Apparently, Target will be offering consumers the chance to allow one of their ingenious employees to install their brand new consoles for them at a super low price of $99 starting sometime this month. Seriously. Here’s what the “service” will probably ensue: a “geeky” looking dude sporting the Target employee uniform will show up to your house with a smile on his face, and a work-belt with more tools than he’ll ever need (e.g. pliers, oscilloscope, soldering gun, etc). He’ll then un-box your spanking new next-gen console, take out the already included cables necessary to have the console function properly; plug in the hefty power cable, followed by the video cables to the back of your TV; he’ll proceed to enable parental controls if needed, setup your wireless router, register some online accounts, and then write up a pink $99 receipt for you, spit on it, and stick it on your forehead. Voila! You just paid $99 to a jerky in a red shirt for something you could have paid the geek next door in Twinkies and weed in – and it would have been cheaper.

TV calibration, I understand (since it is much harder to do and requires a professional). Installing a game system professionally is an understatement. I give it a couple of more years when we’ll have Best Buy’s Geek Squad coming into our homes setting up our toasters, showing us how to toast bread and bagels (ooh, bagels), and charging us $49 for the two minute process.

I will now pursue ridiculing Target.


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Yaris Gutierrez

Born and raised in New York City, Yaris is one of three co-founders at DualShockers. Gaming since the inception of Nintendo in the 80's, he has grown to avidly appreciate games of every genre, maturing his preference specifically now to third-person action games, first-person shooters and JRPGs. He's a software engineer, father and husband during the day, and mildly attempts to hold onto his "hardcore gamer" title during the evenings. An attempt that he tends to fail miserably at.

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