Good day to you all, and welcome to another glorious episode of The Vent. I feel ripe today, as a good story is going to be brought amongst you readers, being peeled with bundles of joyous mayhem and infinite carnage, that makes you smile, but yet turns off the lights in our heads. In other words, after this read, you’ll be like ‘WTF’. In the gaming world, shame is what we enjoy giving to others, but do not enjoy receiving it. It’s what we call a healthy balance. But when everyone in the gaming world receives shame at the same moment, then something is out of place, like a wrench thrown in the gears of life. I found out a few days ago that a man married a video game. I told you this would get interesting.
What defines marriage. If I looked at some religious book, it would state that marriage is between a man and a woman. Now a days, it would be between two people, whom I thought would be alive, or else it would be necrophilia, but that’s another story for another day. Since gay marriage exists in many states, and that it seems anyone can marry any human being, some people believe they can take that a step further and screw with our heads just a little more than it already is. This is a story I found from CNET News. It is stated:
As you begin to contemplate your Thanksgiving meal, your family gathered around you, your loved ones embracing you, please be thankful you are not Sal9000.
Sal appears to be a man with very idiosyncratic needs, which he has attempted to satiate by marrying his favorite video game character.I don’t wish to so much as broach the topic of marital consummation.
However, I can tell you that attending the wedding, which was held, naturally, at the Tokyo Institute of Technology, were the bride’s virtual video game girlfriend, a live audience and, yes, a real religious priest.
To sum up the gist of things Sal9000 married a girl from a Dating Sim game called Love Plus. Her name is Nene Anegasaki, and yes, she does look innocent and hot, if I were into that sort of thing. She’s got a real name, the real idea of a human anatomy, but she is not real. I guess it did not matter to this guy. A thought popped up in my head, and I was just wondering how they were going to “consummate” their marriage. Three ways I see this happening; the movie idea of Weird Science can come into effect and he can actually bring Nene to life, or tweaking the game so that Nene can get her groove on so she can have children. If all else fails he can drill a hole into his DS and pretend it is a part of Nene, if you get me.
You could find the story anywhere now. It is sickening. As a gamer, don’t you feel some kind of patriotic value dying after you read that? For a moment, I strayed away from calling myself a gamer. We were outcasts before from the main society, and now since this happened people will believe we play games just to marry them too. Gamers could find a real relationship, but it seems one guy didn’t, and he had a psychotic back up plan. First I was upset when people say violence in games create violence in real life, and we all know that is total utter bullshit. It’s the people who can’t afford violent video games and go nuts who are to blame. I finally dealt with that trauma, now I have to deal with this? It’s a perfect world which we live in.
So what now? A man marries a video game. This will most likely lead to other messed up marriages, like humans and animals, people marrying their pets , like a dog and a dog, with the full gown and tux, etc. And my favorite soon to be marriage of them all, people marrying characters in movies. No, not the actor, but the character which the actor plays. It is going to happen, let me assure you. If a man can marry a game, so can a man marrying someone who could at please him on screen. Word of advice for tomorrow my fellow viewers, during your Thanksgiving dinner, if you see someone giving dirty looks to that delicious turkey, either restrain that person or hide the turkey. We can’t have necrophilia-bestiality going on anymore in this country.
The Vent is closed for now. If you have anything holiday related that pisses you off in the gaming world, please let me know, by comments or email, and I’ll be getting back to you after I have my wonderful holiday meal with my friends and family. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!