The Vent: Underage Gaming

By Brendan Ecock

September 22, 2009

Another week goes by, another event to Vent. That’s right “kiddies”, this week in The Vent I am going to talk about underage gaming. Given, we all played games as little kids when they were meant to be played by an older audience. Some of us knew by the age of ten what death looked like and some of us got to see our fair share of breasts, way before given the birds and the bees story.  And as we grew up, games have evolved, but one would imagine that the people would have evolved as well, am I correct? That theory went down the crapper as kids nowadays seem to be more idiotic in games they shouldn’t be playing to begin with.

The ESRB group does a good job giving ratings to games for particular reasons, to either tell parents that this game is not appropriate or suitable for their children, either being too scary, too vulgar, or just plain bloody and sexual. To adults, it’s just a plus when we find out that a game we might want to get had sexual content and excessive language. Some of us get certain games just for that reason (you dirty people). But I’m not angry at those guys, because overall, they are still more mature than those little jerks I have to deal with day in and day out. The kids are out of control!
Let’s take for example, a shooter game. Usually they are rated mature, for the blood, language, etc. But ultimately they could be rated teen if you think about it; it’s not really a bad game, unless ESRB was thinking that a war game could traumatize little kids, which I would love to see. Anyways, what I am going with this is that is that it’s rated mature because only mature people could handle these games. When I play with mature people, most likely later aged teens and up, nothing gets me upset. We talk, we have common interests, and we yell sometimes. But when a little jerk comes on, all I hear is “whooooooooo”, or “your gay”, in the highest, squeakiest, non-balls-dropped pitched voice I have ever heard. And to top off the retardation that is going on, when I told those idiots that they should get their 10 year old asses out of the game, he responded, “I am not 10, I am 9 you douche”. Seriously, a 9 year old playing games like these is going to grow up and think that these games are real; he will be like another Son of Sam.

What gets me even angrier is that these kids are, on average, the people who team kill on shooters. When the game starts, BOOM, grenade from behind by my own teammate. And I hear him laughing, that ass. But I can’t put all the blame on just the kids. If game stores do their jobs right, then the kids are not going out and buying the games, so that means it’s the parents faults. Wow, what common sense you guys have. You notice why your children are delinquents and go to detention everyday? It’s because you let them experience things you should not let them experience until they are in their mid teens, or at least until they’ve matured a bit more. That’s what the frakking rating is for, you should read sometime. Bad parenting leads to crappy children with retarded attitudes playing the same games that I enjoy and ruining what I paid for.

I have some words of advice. We should bring beating back to the kids. We are too lenient now then in the past. If a child wants a rated game game, and will cry and misbehave because you won’t give it to him, then beat him to a pulp. That will get his attention and affection back again. But that’s just my opinion.

The Vent is closed till next week. If you guys have had issues with gaming that pissed you off this week, feel free to share it with us, and I will most certainly be on your side, if it wasn’t against me. Brendan out.

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